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Singing Detective
Under Investigation
In the end it was nothing

Current Mood: annoyed annoyed

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She was there and she was early. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she had agreed to leave with him, to go back to Glasgow with him. Butterflies churned in his stomach at the thought of it, the two of them starting a new life together. A life away from murder investigations, Blackpool and most of all, a life away from Ripley Holden and everything he thinks he stands for.

But things don’t last when you are happy, especially when you’re doing the wife of a murder suspect; Natalie turned around and told him she wasn’t going with him. She told him that she was staying there, with her family and with him.

Hurt flowed through Carlisle, he loved her, and within five minutes of their first meeting he loved her. Yes he had lied about who he was, but he loved her and she loved him. His hurt turned to anger to protect his own feelings. He told her that all of it was lies, that the only reason he had taken her out, the only reason he had screwed her and told her he loved to her was to use her to get information on her family, on her son and husband, the two people who were the prime suspects in the case he was working on with Detective Constable Blythe.

Maybe at first the only reason he had wanted to meet her was because she was the wife of a murder suspect, but within moments he wanted to know her, to told her hand and kiss her. He wanted to love her. And in those moments in that hotel room, the only lies he told her were brought on by the hurt and rejection he was feeling. A man like Ripley Holden didn’t deserve a woman like that, maybe he didn’t either but he loved her and he knew he could make her happy.
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He dropped a coin into the slot of the machine before him, the one aptly named the on armed bandit because all it really did was steal your money from you and offer you false hope of winning something. The few times you did win anything you put more money into them than you got out.

Another coin dropped into the slot and clattered down inside. The start button blinked into life, beckoning you into playing more and he reached up and hit the button. Reels turned, and then stopped one after the other, the other. Nothing. Not chances of playing anything. A tap of the start button and the reels went around once more. The machine flashed into life, offering holds, and possibly a chance to get up on the game board. He hold’s reel one and three, hit’s start. The numbers fall but he’s one short and they don’t hold again.

Back to nothing, back to just playing the reels. He taps start for the last time and the machine offers him nothing, no kind of satisfaction, no prize for giving it his money. A real bandit never gives you anything for your money, nothing but a kind of annoying emptiness.

Two machines down the lights flash and the person playing it drops the £250 jackpot, the girl between the two of you looks over at him with such desire. She’s just spent her whole giro, no money left to buy food for the child in the buggy behind her. Nothing left in the cupboards at home.

Just like Peter, she leaves the arcade with nothing but a lighter pocket and less money.

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Current Location: Blackpool
Current Mood: bored bored

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I like your eyes
I like your shape
And I could easily overpower you
I won't say a thing
I won't tell a soul
But I could easily overpower you

Auf der Maur: Overpower thee


Every part of my waking day is now filled with the thought of nothing but her and winning her off of that prick Ripley Holden. There is just something about her, something that gets me deep inside and it’s like I cannot breath without her in my life. Natalie Holden is a married woman and yet I am willing to do anything to have her as my own.

Lie, cheat, anything. I just have to have her.

Every time I close my eyes, every moment of every day I can see her, her face is etched deep into my subconscious. Her touch haunts my dreams, I can feel her lying there next to me, fingers brushing against my chest as we do the whole after sex cuddling thing.

How do they do that? One minute you see them as a goddess that you want to worship and the next they are hiding away in every part of your life. There are certain songs I cannot hear without thinking of her, certain places I can no longer visit. Without Natalie in my life, the places and things that made me happy grind me down and make me miserable.

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Current Mood: lonely lonely

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Camera lights flashed ahead of him; reaching into his pocket he pulled out his ID and flashed it to the uniformed policeman standing on the outskirts of the crime scene. The police tape flapped in the wind, it made a soft slapping sound as it was whipped about. There was something so fitting about the weather too, the grey sky, the threat of rain, the cold damp air. Fitting for such a horrific day.

Lifting the tape up he stooped down and under it, walking towards the place where forensics were working. He didn’t see anything at first; all he knew were small details.

A murder, someone by the name of Rosemary Tolbart, and that was all the information he had been given on the drive up there.

He saw soft brown curls first, the body flat on its back, and then he noticed the size of it. It wasn’t a woman like he had expected, but a child, from the size of her she couldn’t have been more than six or seven years old. Just a child, so tiny, so fragile.

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Current Mood: melancholy melancholy

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You're looking into a mirror that reveals the thing you hide most from. That could be an emotion, something shameful in your pase, something painful that happened to you, a dark secret that you've kept hidden for years, something about yourself that you refuse to acknowledge, anything. You can't look away and the longer you look, the more vivid the image of the very thing the mirror is revealing to you becomes. What is that thing?

A deep etched frown appeared on his face as he looked at himself in the mirror, he seemed different, and there was something in his eyes. A deep seeded something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Narrowing his eyes he peered a little closer.

Was it love? No, it wasn’t that at all. Love didn’t put a dark edge to your eyes, it changed them, but it didn’t make them darker, even spiteful. That was how they looked down. Dark and filled with the need to get what he wanted no matter what.

Yes. It was love that had changed him, and it wasn’t for the better.

As he starred at his reflection he saw deceit and greed. A man that would do anything to get what he wanted. He would make people lie; he would steal and try to make things go his own way just to get the woman he loved.

Looking into the mirror he no longer saw the lawful policeman he had been. He saw the eyes and soul of the teenager who would do anything to get his own way.

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What do I believe in? Well sod all actually. If you’re talking faith then you are talking to the wrong man. Everywhere you look you see the good getting screwed over and the bad living the highlife. Every day you have to push and shove, gamble and trick to make something of your life, to just get anywhere. And don’t sit there and tell me you don’t do it. We all do, no matter how big or small we all try and screw one another over to get the better life for ourselves.

I’ll admit it, I’ve done it myself. Tried to convince people to say things that were not true jus to get someone arrested for murder, also did it to try and keep the woman I fell in love with. I can’t say that I am proud of what I did, or how it made me seem, but I wanted nothing more than to put that prick away.

Actually, I lied, I do believe in something. I believe that the heart is powerful and when it finds someone to love it will make you do anything to be with them. Some women say that men only act because of what their cocks want, and that is true, but sometimes…sometimes it’s the heart more than anything else.

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Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

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The door slammed closed, it was all about the effect such a noise had on a person. He wanted her to think that everything he had told her was a lie, that he didn’t care for her and that it was all about getting to her son and husband.

But it wasn’t.

Peter closed his eyes and let out a long shaky breath, and his hands were shaking too. He’d asked her to come away with him, move up to Scotland and start a life together away from the horror that was Blackpool. But, even though she said she would leave with him, she just been to tell him she was going to stay in Blackpool with that arse, Ripley Holden.

The room felt so empty and yet it was stifling. He couldn’t breathe; the woman he loved and loved him in return had decided to stay with a man who didn’t seem to know she existed, and she was doing it because she thought it was what she should do. She was scared of doing something for herself, something to make herself happy. Peter had no idea how much time had passed, but he just stood at the door, staring at it, willing her to come back and say she wanted to be with him. But she didn’t and he just stood there for so long.

He’d wanted to make her feel bad about herself because he was hurt, but he just ended up making himself feel worse.

That night he climbed into bed and just stared at the curtains and watched the lights flash from outside. For the first time in a long time he hadn’t felt hungry, he just lay down and willed the pain to stop but it wouldn’t.

“It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years”

Finally he drifted off to sleep, an empty feeling deep in the pit of his stomach.

ooc: Artist: Alison Krauss & Union Station Lyrics. Song: It Doesn't Matter Lyrics.

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Current Mood: melancholy melancholy

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Ever walked down the streets of Blackpool? Poor mans Las Vegas, a place filled with druggies, whores, and groups of male holiday makers out for a fight, oh, and AWP’s. Oh, an AWP is an arcade with prizes. In truth most arcades are those, after all you can collect those little tokens for gifts or play one of those grabbing machines. But what was I was saying?

Right.

Blackpool.

I hate the place.

Right shit hole.

You can stand there, lovely sunny day, watching the sea brush up against the golden sand, children playing with their families and having a whale of a time, and then you turn around and you see the eye sours. It’s like someone drank a lot of paint and threw up everywhere and then decide to pop a few lights here and there to try and make the place look pretty. I mean really. How can a custard yellow shop front with multi coloured lights on it make people want to go inside? And it’s not that fact that it’s a waste of money.

Now the only place colours like that should be permitted is on a donut covered in icing and hundreds and thousands, well that or on an ice cream. How can anyone want to come to Blackpool?

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Current Mood: bitchy bitchy

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She was there and she was early. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she had agreed to leave with him, to go back to Glasgow with him. Butterflies churned in his stomach at the thought of it, the two of them starting a new life together. A life away from murder investigations, Blackpool and most of all, a life away from Ripley Holden and everything he thinks he stands for.
But things don’t last when you are happy, especially when you’re doing the wife of a murder suspect; Natalie turned around and told him she wasn’t going with him. She told him that she was staying there, with her family and with him.
Hurt flowed through Carlisle, he loved her, and within five minutes of their first meeting he loved her. Yes he had lied about who he was, but he loved her and she loved him. His hurt turned to anger to protect his own feelings. He told her that all of it was lies, that the only reason he had taken her out, the only reason he had screwed her and told her he loved to her was to use her to get information on her family, on her son and husband, the two people who were the prime suspects in the case he was working on with Detective Constable Blythe.
Maybe at first the only reason he had wanted to meet her was because she was the wife of a murder suspect, but within moments he wanted to know her, to told her hand and kiss her. He wanted to love her. And in those moments in that hotel room, the only lies he told her were brought on by the hurt and rejection he was feeling. A man like Ripley Holden didn’t deserve a woman like that, maybe he didn’t either but he loved her and he knew he could make her happy.

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Current Mood: cold cold

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